Hey ,

Ever been insulted?

Happens to me everyday :)

People email or message me and tell me I’m desperate, a charlatan, insensitive, greedy...

Or my all time favorite...

A panty waist.

But they never say it in person, just online...you cowards! Lol

That being said, I have been in really abusive relationships...

And those insults were thrown directly in my face...sometimes for hours on end.

I've accepted and forgiven myself now, but man...I used to be so ashamed to have ALLOWED someone to treat me that way...

Anyways...

I want to share with you an interesting phenomenon…

Something I learned from enduring years and years and years of abuse.

It’s a phenomenon that I think everyone suffers from to one degree or another...

I call it Enemy Internalization.

It's when you unconsciously adopt the beliefs of your enemy, attacker, or accuser.

Here's a question:

How many of your negative beliefs do you think were created by your enemies?

The answer...

Drumroll please...

Probably most of them...if not ALL of them.

At least, this was true for me.

When I started to become aware of my own beliefs I traced back to the origin of my self defeating beliefs...

I discovered they came from...

Bullies...

Abusers...

Toxic people...

My ENEMIES.

People that treated me like scum.

It's sad...

Because I ALLOWED their belief to WIN over my own belief...

They were living rent free in my head...and I even covered their utilities and netflix subscriptions!!

(oh lord, sometimes literally haha, I was quite a mess)

Here's a metaphor that helps me visualize this process:

Whenever you're "in conflict" with someone it's a WAR.

Not a traditional war...

But a WAR OF BELIEFS.

Your belief VS their belief.

The person with the strongest conviction WINS...or at least doesn't lose.

Here's an example...

There was someone in my life that used to scream at me at the top of their lungs...

"You piece of shit asshole...

How the fuck could you do something like this to me...

Do you even know how much you've hurt me?"

Guilt trip, projection, yada yada yada...

Well, these were all lies...

I KNEW that I didn't do anything in a malicious way…

I KNEW I only had good intentions…

And I also KNEW that I was willing to fix any problem that was there…

I knew that in my heart none of what this person was saying.

BUT…

THEY had more CONVICTION and resolve than me...so they won.

And I adopted their thinking as my own thinking...

This happened all unconsciously, I wasn't aware that this was happening at the time...I was only able to see this looking back.

I started to believe that I truly was a piece of shit...

I actually got so low one know where I remember hitting myself and screaming "You piece of shit" referring to myself....

Wow...I forgot I used to do that...

Crazy…actually.

Anyways lol...

My weak belief LOST.

Their belief WON.

And history is written by the victors...

So the words of my enemy became my own.

And the enemy outside became the enemy within.

There were two problems that caused me to fail...

PROBLEM ONE was that my beliefs about myself were too weak...

PROBLEM TWO was that I was TOO AFRAID to speak THE TRUTH...

I was too afraid to speak the truth because I was too "nice"...

My parents and teachers always told me to "be nice"...so I was.

I was a shy good obedient little boy who never ruffled anyone's feathers.

I used to think "being nice" was a virtue...but now I think differently...

When I was trying to be nice?

I was lying and hiding my true self.

So I wouldn't offend or hurt someone else's feelings.

This was at least how I defined ‘nice’...

So I never spoke up.

I was too afraid to tell the truth...

My mind was weak...

That's why I lost the war of beliefs and adopted the thinking of my enemies.

So I made a concerted effort to strengthen my mind…

By rooting out all the false beliefs, and installing correct powerful ones.

To win the War of Beliefs...YOU must KNOW and have unwavering CONVICTION the TRUTH.

And the truth will set you free.

Speak it to yourself first...and then to others when necessary.

And never let them win.

– BRAD

“No one can heal you, but YOU.”

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